LIFE IN THE BUBBLE

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A lesson in colon therapy

Monday, 27 February 2012
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What would possess any sane person to pay almost a hundred bucks to get a hose shoved up their bum while someone else watches and analyses their poo?

Princess Diana, for one, was an outspoken fan, and it seems there is a surprisingly high number of other people who have had a go at flushing away the toxins in order to achieve optimum health, radiant beauty and a lightness of being.

Once in a while even the most enlightened of us choose to lose a little dignity in the name of health and beauty. It’s not unheard of for us to spread our legs for a Brazilian, strip off in front of a complete stranger so they can spray dark spray tan muck all over us or even lie back for a bit of ‘colon lavage’. Colon therapy is the name of the game, also known as a ‘colonic’, ‘colon hydrotherapy’ and ‘colon irrigation’. 

All jokes aside, colon therapy is really the most effective method of detoxifying the body, and it has been around for centuries. The procedure was even written about in the Bible.  In fact, the oldest account of colonics was recorded by the Greek historian Herodotus in 440BC. What many people don’t know is that colon hydrotherapy systems were commonplace in many doctor’s surgeries in the early 20th century, but along came man’s century-long love affair with the magic pills to cure all ills, and it was far easier to take one to get rid of a headache than detoxifying your body. And so colonics became a thing of the past.

 

Over-burdened channels

 You may be wondering why we need to artificially detoxify our bodies when we already do this every day by dropping number one’s and two’s into the loo.  While it’s true that the body has specially designed detoxification channels in place, specifically the liver, kidney, lungs and skin.  These channels can get over-burdened from time to time through our diet, our hectic lifestyles, the increasingly poor quality of food and water we imbibe, and the polluted air the we breathe.

Our bodies are quite amazing pieces of machinery and will always show signs of distress well before we get some sinister disease.  Toxicity in our system and the warning signs that we need to detox can include headaches, backaches, constipation, fatigue, bad breath, body odour, irritability, confusion, skin problems, weight problems, cellulite, abdominal gas, bloating, diarrhea, sciatic pain and so forth. As you can see, toxicity is part and parcel of everyday life for many people.

 

Poor bowels

 Colon therapy is all about hydrating the colon to reduce intestinal toxicity.  This massive and wonderful organ, which is meant to conserve water, manufacture essential B vitamins and nurture beneficial bacteria, is sadly also the martyr of our bodies. It is the last place that gets the little water we ingest, as well as being the dumping ground for all the sludge from the crappy food we eat.  And thus our poor bowels are often in desperate need of a holiday, and colon therapy is like going on a nice vacation.

In a 45-minute session, approximately 15 litres of warm, purified water is used to gently flush your colon. Through appropriate use of massage and pressure points, the colon therapist then loosens the compacted waste and eliminates far more toxic matter from your system than any other short-term technique.  The results?  Glowing skin, sparkling eyes, vibrant energy, positive moods, increased vitality, clarity of mind, weight-loss and an improved functioning of all the systems of the body. 

 

Unblock your pipes

 On the whole we’re a superficial bunch. People love to see how much their physical appearance improves after having their large intestine hydrated; how much their eyes sparkle and their hair shines. But, and excuse my crass language here, when you let go of shit, you let go of shit.

It really is wonderful to see the mental and emotional transformations that people go through – from letting go of toxic relationships, to finding their true path in life and realizing their potential, all because they took the time to unblock their pipes. 

Words: Saimaa Millier

Photography: Kristian Taylor-Wood

Saimaa Miller is a Naturopath and Director of The Last Resort.

 

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